At 35yo, I had it all. The most gorgeous little family; my 2yo little boy, my 4yo little girl, my not so little 12yo step son, my 6yo fluffy groodle, my beautiful supportive loving husband, and the most gorgeous family and friends a girl could ask for… Almost 13years in my dream job as a Paramedic, super settled in my team with dream work partners.

In May of this year, I had my third laparoscopy for excision of Endometriosis. I’d had a steady increase in all my regular endo symptoms for approximately 6-12months prior- abdo pain, bloating, and some changes in bowel habits. Mum life is fairly relentless at the best of times, so feeling fatigued and nauseated and gaining weight didn’t seem out of place.

The endo surgery went well, plenty of endo excised as expected. I was also told I had adenomyosis. During the surgery they noted some nodules on my liver, around 4 over both lobes, but said it was likely a benign condition caused by excessive hormone use to manage my endo. I was immediately taken off all of my hormonal medications and booked for a liver MRI two weeks later to confirm, when all the gas they insert to blow up your belly during the surgery had dissipated. I was advised to consider a hysterectomy sooner rather than later, due to ceasing hormone management including contraception, the adenomyosis found, and the fact that our little family was complete. Recovery was the smoothest it had ever been and I was so grateful.

A week post my endo surgery I was called to come in, after the weekend, for some ‘unexpected biopsy results’. It is routine for them to send off some of the excised tissue for testing but everything looked visually in line with purely endo. We spent the weekend wondering what that meant. On the Monday morning, we went for review with the gynaecologist and were advised that a few of the samples sent off from my peritoneal space had come back as adenocarcinoma of colorectal origin, so they were now also suspicious of my liver being in line with that. To say we were shocked to walk out of there with a diagnosis of metastatic bowel cancer is an understatement. We were absolutely devastated. Shocked. Scared. Worried. Anxious as hell.

I still needed to wait a week for the gas to dissipate to ensure follow up imaging was clear and accurate. The waiting and the unknown was excruciating. I finally had CT chest/abdo/pelvis which confirmed liver lesions were consistent with significant metastases, and despite knowing the primary was bowel, it wasn’t yet located. I was called that night to go for a liver MRI the following day which further confirmed numerous hepatic mets, the largest two measuring 7.4cm x 4.7cm, and 4.6cm x 3.9cm.

Everything is a bit of a blur from there… we had our initial consultation with the oncologist, I had my chemo port-a-cath inserted, and underwent a liver biopsy to get more tumour tissue for targeted treatment testing.

We then had our second Oncology appointment, and I was advised that on further consultation, given the central location of my metastases around highly vascular parts of the liver, that they believe regardless of how chemo effects these growths, that it will be inoperable. As opposed to a slight chance of curative, we were now looking at a likely prognosis of 1-2years. Terminal. Gutted was an understatement.

I’m scared. I’m worried sick for my babies but know they are surrounded by the best possible village as we navigate this. Watching my babies grow up for as long as I possibly can beside my incredible husband, my beyond special family, and my absolutely gorgeous friends is the best motivator I could have. The stubborn control freak in me is doing its best to just go with the constant ebbs and flows, but most importantly well equips me to fight this shit for as long as I possibly can.

At this stage the plan is fortnightly chemotherapy ongoing. I have some infusions in hospital and then go home with a pump on for 46hours to continue my chemo treatment at home. I am two rounds down and due for my third this week. We have been overwhelmed with the love, kindness and support our family has been shown during this incredibly difficult time.. thank you is no where near enough.

As a busy mum, someone with endometriosis, and a Paramedic, it is scary how easy it was to explain way my symptoms; fatigue, increased bloating, abdominal pain, change in bowel habits, worsened reflux, weight gain.

I hope that by sharing my story someone else may get their symptoms investigated sooner and have a better outcome.